Yesterday I was having a tough time dealing with your loss again. Someone had asked me who the cutie in the picture on my desk was. I had to say, "my dog who is no longer with me." Then I started to clean out things that belonged to you. Each item I touch flashed me back to the moment I picked that item out and what my intention of it was to use it on you. I picked out a few harnesses that were useless and you never got to use. It made me think about the time I took you to Walmart with me for the very first time. Also the first time we visited petco with your friend Kevin who was trying to see if you liked the smell of salmon treats. I saw the paper of an event we attended together the Walk for Animals where that had names and amounts of pledges. I had a very hard time throwing any of these things away. The items I allowed myself to part with were the medicines and your teeth cleaner.
Last night I had a dream that you ate like a normal pup and you did not throw up at all. Unlike my other dreams where I was aware you had passed and that I was dreaming this time I was unaware and thought you were better. I thought you were healed and was so happy that you were eating with a normal appetite again. You were more the pup I remembered - pleasingly full and not skinny. I hope this is a sign from you letting me know you ARE actually still with me in spirit even if not in flesh letting me know you ARE actually happy and feeling better.
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