It' been a while since I last posted. It seems like I skipped November as far as blogs go. It means I'm learning to live without you but it does not mean I will ever stop missing you. In November I was preparing to go to Hong Kong for a three week vacation with Ariel and Annabelle and of course your Dad Blaine. Upon the end of our trip I just kept thinking about returning to an empty house. The first time I ever came back from a trip for as long as I could remember and you were not there to welcome me back. I cried at night during those jet lagged nights back home.
Today I was listening to some songs that brought me back to before I met you. When I felt very lonely and moping around over failed relationships. I thought about how when I first got you were there to help me get better and it has come full circle. I am now the saddest I have ever felt feeling like a huge hole is in my heart and life. How strange that it came to be that you helped me but in losing you I feel more pain than I've ever experienced. But at least I am in a better place in my life so in that way you helped me live a fuller life. I am so lucky I got to experience you for over a decade though it will never feel like it was enough.
