Missing You Extra Today

Today is a hard day. I just want to see you again, walk next to you, hug you and smell you. I wonder about you and if you exist somewhere like rainbow bridge. I wish so deeply to know that you're doing well and that you forgive me for letting you go. I feel so much guilt sometimes for not being able to spend as much as time as you your last few years with having my human babies. Your absence in this world stings more than I could have ever imagined. I wish I could visit with you just to be assured that you're doing well.

Snow White

The night of December 30th I had a dream about you, you were different than I had ever seen but I knew it was you. Your whole body was covered in fluffy snow white fur and some how I knew it was from your age. You were an old wise pup now and still by my side. You were healthy but old and so very cute. I was really happy when I woke up to have a dream about you. Another visit from your soul. I told this story to Blaine on our drive to a New Year's Eve party at the North Library near UTC. When I told him I could feel the tears swell up in my eyes. Even now writing this I have the same thing happening to me.

A few days ago Ariel asked us (and I'm pretty sure she asked because she heard me tell Blaine about my dream) where Ralph went to live. And I tried to say he had passed on, no longer in this world. But she was confused and said, "but where did he go I miss him. We said bye to him so I want to see him again." I can tell she is confused and it is hard for her to understand.